We can't avoid anxiety and it can derail us. Taking away some of its mystery can help.
Part of what disturbs many of us about anxiety is the feeling that it is not normal. We may believe we should not feel it, that there is a way to live life without it. However quite the opposite is true, it is merely a natural aspect of being human.
We are evolutionary wonders. Our bodies continued to survive dangerous environments by developing complex systems of protection.
Our biology gifted us anxiety
—it is easy to forget this point.
Over time, natural adaptations wove a sophisticated defense into our nervous system where there is also the power to quickly reallocate available resources without waiting for our thinking brain’s consent.
In a 2021 TED-Ed talk,Biologist Dr. Seena Mathew explains these pre-cognitive, pre-verbal risk assessments take 13 milliseconds (ms), whereas our thoughts to process the same situations take 180–200 ms. Our body reacts before we have the time to consciously recognize why.
Consequently, maintaining a relaxed presence is a recovery practice for most of us.
Because the nervous system has evolved with a better-safe-than-sorry bias. We tend to react to any possible threat. Our perceptions of nonphysical threats from happen moment to moment. These are based on our subjective interpretations of what’s happening within our body, mind, environment, and relationships.
Generalizing our past experiences guides our current evaluation of people and situations—whether or not these new people and situations are overly similar. And the more cues of danger we’ve experienced—be they personal, familial, cultural, etc., the more easily our threat systems misfire.
We may not recognize the importance of questioning how our nervous system projects and reacts to phantom dangers in our present day lived experience. Making an effort to learning our cues is especially relevant when we want to keep stresses in one situation from spilling into another.
Due to its pervasive influence on our perceptions, the state of our nervous system—be it threatened or safe—, colors, colors how we experience our worlds. It is often difficult for us to recognize our personalized framing directly, though we may notice certain thoughts and beliefs continually emerge.
Such as:
Trust is difficult. Vulnerability is ill-advised. The world is unsafe.
In moments of panic and vulnerability, we react to our familiar assumptions about people and our presumed meanings of what’s going on. The flashlight of our attention is hyper-aware of any potential cues of danger.
By default, a dysregulated nervous system lacks curiosity and stops asking questions. We believe there is no need for further examination as our hijacked attention and resulting skewed interpretations “confirm” our misunderstanding.
Over countless generations and adaptations in dangerous savannahs, our body’s efforts to take care of itself regularly prepare for mortal risks when triggered. Its strategies include a mix of mobilization (fight/flight), immobilization (freeze), and connection (appease.) As our nervous system tries to protect us assuming our survival is at stake, it slows "unnecessary"-resource drains—such as inhibiting our higher cognitive functions; disrupting our breath, heart rate, and digestion; stiffening muscles in our face and body.
Consequently, we may sometimes unknowingly appear in alienating ways such as being indecisive, dismissive, aggressive, or compulsively accommodating. We fidget. We tense. We tend to push away from our anxiety rather than look more closely at it.
Sometimes our defensive states become our new normal. A chronically activated nervous system can feel exhilarating for a long while before the costs to our well-being become detectable. Consider the stunningly successful professional who develops heart, sleep, and relationship issues.
We may find it surprising that our nervous system responds to all of today’s psychological, intellectual, emotional, and financial threats as if they were crouching tigers.
Recall—this evolved negativity bias urges us to act before thinking.
Our reactions can result in putting immediate survival as our highest priority in any moment. This often perpetuates familiar, chronic behavioral patterns as these are what feel familiar and therefore, safe.
By noticing we’re triggered, the parts of our cortex enabling self-awareness come back online. We can then regain our critical thinking capacity and evaluate whether our physical survival is truly at risk. In doing so, we can help our defenses stand down. We regain better control of our attention. We shift from compulsivity to choice.
Many of us have experienced moments when our hostile reaction to a situation ambushes us. We can often assume it is merited by that cue of “danger” in front of us. Upon reflection, we realize we had overreacted in the moment and then were seemingly unable to do what was kind and effective.
Examples of what can happen in various work situations when we’re triggered:
In a board-room—we actively stay silent on risk factors of a key strategy
In a lawsuit—we duck calls from the lead counsel of a high-stakes lawsuit—a known risk In a pandemic—we freeze when faced with supply chain challenges
In a negotiation—we don’t listen deeply, we either cave or erupt
If we learn to include anxiety as a valid part of our everyday experience, we may find we can discipline our behavior to act in skillful ways even when disturbed.
Given our defenses are evolutionarily designed to fire before we can evaluate whether they are helpful, it may be useful to view ourselves as somewhat unpredictable nervous systems. Conveniently, there is neuroscientific and other research on techniques, tools, and trainings for dynamically influencing the state of our nervous system thereby reducing its disruptive power.
We can’t avoid anxiety, so we may as well learn ways to work with it.
This is the first of a series of articles exploring anxiety. The following essays will explore anxiety on various levels, including in our body, and its impacts on our decisions and our effectiveness. There are many diverse ways to lessen anxiety’s negative impacts. Some are here: https://www.clearripple.com/resources
Michelle Thomson is an executive coach and advisor whose clients include board directors, CEOs, senior executives, and other executive coaches. She specializes in high consequence, time-pressured situations. As the founder of Clear Ripple, LLC, she brings with her a background as a portfolio manager, CEO, and board director, across industries including insurance, reinsurance, banking, and private investment firms.
Michelle is a Qualified Risk Director®, a Boardwise® certified board professional, and has been an affiliate partner of the DCRO Institute, a “global network bringing risk governance expertise to the boardroom and c-suite.” She is also a Charter Angel of the over 15,000 members strong, 100 Women in Finance, and a professional ski instructor volunteering with Ignite Adaptive Sports. To reach Michelle, please visit her website, www.clearripple.com.
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